Friends

so after josh stayed over sat night... we've been together since. something is so amazing when we're together. sex to be specific...ive told him he was the last person i expected to be with like this... but the sex is amazing, there is no denying. i did lie to andy, and he had asked me to smoke a few nights ago... i wanted to, but josh stayed over again... at 1am josh was sleeping in my arms, and my bedroom door wasnt locked. i heard a bang on my front door, a few times... before i could put some clothes on my roommate opened the door and andy raced in my appartment with the british chicks... i quickly got up to lock my bedroom door, andy jiggled the door handle, i thought it could break open like nothing, the cheap lock it was!... i closed the door slightly behind me in the bathroom, not that i could escape but for fears.. while convincing josh not to go out there, we kept quiet. andy said "thats it josh, i know your in there. its over!" waited a few more minutes... slammed my front door and kept pacing by my bedroom window knocking and banging on it. screaming fuck you josh & tommy. after what seemed like minutes, andy left in his car, sped off with the british chicks. josh wanted to kick his ass so bad, but i kept him inside. josh called him and andy was so upset... next few nights it continued... and josh got a call from a hysterical andy calling him while i was laying on josh... "how could you do this josh, we had a beautiful future... and with tommy? the last person i expected. not once, twice but now three times you've cheated josh, i was ready for you to change... i cant believe you." while josh just kept replying with "i dont know what to say" and trying to get me on top of him during this really sad phone call, i wasnt having it... feeling so ashamed every single minute the name andy is mentioned... i'm almost positive i've lost half of my friends... theres a team andy/team josh... oddly enough, jermaine who hates me for other reasons... is talking to me normally talking about the drive back down here after break... maybe thats all hes using me for. but one thing is clear, andy fooled around with jermaine while i was with him a few months ago... then he fooled around with me... and now because josh pushed himself onto me... andy is upset? if your in a relationship dont cheat its as simple as that, so horribly flawed. these two have always seemed like a happy couple, and while i dont understand how josh just all the sudden doesnt care about andy in any single way.... while andy is bawling daily... somehow i fit into the picture... i knew something like this would happen between teh four of us. so fucked up. lost a few friends, especially andy -its hard for me to say that i love the kid, because i do... but what im doing to him... i've been in his position, i dont blame him for his psycho behavior of barging into my appartment at 1am... for accusing josh of so much that hes already done himself... but its not my place... what im doing is wrong, im not a truly heartless person... we've all fucking fucked around with eachother now... the only thing that josh doesnt know possibly is that i've been with andy at some point... im surprised andy has never told him... maybe he has and josh doesnt care, but he's asked me about it. who knows. life learning lesson... cant wait for break... josh says hes going to miss me. hes over the british chicks right now getting his GPS back from andy... though andy prob has alot to say.. its been 10 minutes and its right across from this dorm room... oh well.